How to Ask for Help After Having a Baby (Without Feeling Guilty)

Becoming a parent - whether it’s your first or fourth - is filled with a lot of emotions. Amid the joy and overwhelm, you might think, “How do people do this on their own?”. But the reality is, parenting was never meant to be done alone, because it truly takes a village to raise a child.

Sometimes, the village doesn’t just show up. But asking for help after having a baby can be hard. It - guilt, pride, or not knowing how to ask can get in the way. 

As parents ourselves, we’re here to remind you that it’s okay to ask for him. You deserve the support. In this post, we’ll walk you through why it’s okay to lean on others, share gentle, practical scripts to help you ask for help without feeling guilty, and how to accept help. 

Many new parents feel pressure to do it all and be everything to everyone. But being the perfect parent, partner, son/daughter, and more can be exhausting and isolating. Asking for help after a baby is born can feel challenging because: 

• “Superparent” pressure: Social media paints a polished version of postpartum life. You rarely see the dishes or diapers piling up or the tears during 3 a.m. feeds—only the filtered smiles. This creates unrealistic expectations of what you “should” be able to manage as a new mom or dad.
• Guilt and fear of being a burden: Many parents worry they’ll inconvenience others or come across as ungrateful or incapable if they ask for help.
• Cultural or family dynamics: In some communities or family systems, needing help is seen as weakness or failure, even though it's completely normal and human. Or you might not have family around where you currently live.
• Mental load fatigue: You might know you need help—but figuring out what to ask for, who to ask, or how to coordinate it can feel like yet another task on an already overflowing list.

During those middle of the night feeds, you might be thinking: 

• “I should be able to do this on my own.”
• “They’re probably busy with their own life.”
• “I don’t even know where to start…"

These thoughts are common—and they’re also signs that support is exactly what you need. When you recognize that feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, it becomes easier to reach out and receive the support you deserve.

The first few weeks postpartum—often called the fourth trimester—are a time of major healing and adjustment. As a mom, you’ve just delivered a baby. Your body, mind, and relationships are shifting. Accepting help during this time isn’t just okay—it’s essential for your recovery.

Here’s what happens when you allow others to support you:

• You get space to rest and recover.
• Your baby benefits from a calmer, more supportive caregiver.
• You create opportunities for others to bond with your baby.
• You reinforce that it’s healthy to ask for help, setting a lifelong example.

You weren’t meant to carry this all alone—and you don’t have to.

Sometimes, help doesn’t appear because people don’t know what you need—or how to offer. And if your immediate circle isn't nearby or available, it can feel like you're doing this alone. But your village doesn’t need to be big to be powerful. We’ve put together a guide on How to Build Your Village to help you find your people. 

Sometimes, we need help.. asking for help. Whether you’re unsure what to say when someone offers to help or want to ask for it yourself, here are scripts you can use and adapt to your comfort level. 

For Meals and Errands

• "We’d love a meal if you’re offering—something simple like a pasta or a soup would be amazing. Thank you so much.”
• “If you're heading to the store, could you grab a few things for us too? I can text you the list—it would be such a help.”

For Rests or Breaks

• “Would you like some baby snuggles while I sneak in a quick shower or nap? I’d really appreciate it.”
• “Thank you so much for offering to help. Just holding the baby so I can rest for a bit is honestly the most thoughtful thing.”

For House Chores

• “If you’re up for it, folding a load of laundry or unloading the dishwasher would be amazing.”
• “If you have a few minutes, would you be okay tidying up the kitchen or running the vacuum? I just haven’t had the energy.”

For Emotional Support

• “I don’t need advice right now, but I could use someone to listen. Would you have time to chat later?”
• “Could you check in on me later this week? I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed.”

For Setting Boundaries Kindly

• “We’re not ready for visitors just yet, but we’ll let you know when we are.”
• “Thank you for wanting to help—we just need a little quiet time right now.”

Even when someone offers support with love, it can be hard to receive it without a wave of guilt. But guilt is often just a sign that you care deeply—it doesn’t mean what you’re doing is wrong.

Here are a few ways to gently shift your mindset:

• Receiving help is part of being human: No one is meant to raise a child alone. You don’t need to “earn” rest, meals, or kindness.
• Start small: You don’t need to outsource everything. Accepting one dinner or letting someone do the dishes for you is a big step. 
• Create a “Ways to Help” list: Keep a list on your fridge or phone of small tasks people could do when they ask. This can include folding laundry, grabbing groceries, or bringing snacks for you. 
• Remind yourself it’s temporary: This is your season to receive. One day, you’ll be on the other side, able to support someone else. That’s the rhythm of community - a true village.

It can be helpful to reframe it as, “Accepting help now allows me to be the parent I want to be later.” Because once you feel supported, you’ll be able to care for your baby in the way you truly want to show up. 

You were never meant to do this alone. Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward healing, connection, and thriving in new parenthood. Whether it’s a meal, a nap, or a listening ear, these moments of support make a world of difference, especially when you’re overwhelmed with endless questions, diapers, and night feeds. In a world where parenthood can sometimes feel isolating, we want to remind you that it truly takes a village to support you and your baby through this season.